A lot of times people will say they don’t want anything for their birthday or anniversary. Now you can put their truthfulness to the test by literally getting them nothing. You can sit back with a dumb grin of your … Continue reading

$7.99

via Amazon

You often find yourself strugging to choose between getting drunk and playing checkers? For many of us, this is an all too common dilemma. The checkers shot glass drinking game allows you to do both. It also gives you something you can bond over with your alcoholic step dad. Continue reading

$17.67

via Amazon

Time to throw all your lamps in the garbage. This dinosaur lamp is the latest in chic dinosaur décor. You can choose what color to set your lamp too, or make it gradually change between colors. Charge it via usb. Continue reading

$20.00

via Amazon

This portable slim ewriter allows you to easily take notes on the go. You can use it to quickly jot down grocery lists, lyrics to the new rap you’re working on, or cryptic messages to your cheating spouse. Erase it with the touch of a button. Continue reading

$14.99

via Amazon

This fitness bar instantly locks into most door ways with ease. Once the bar is assembled, no set up in necessary to attach or remove it from door way. While most people may use this fitness bar to get into shape, it is also great way to get a quick pump on your bis, tris, and chest before you take a selfie. Continue reading

$19.99

via Amazon

Take your unhealthy caffeine addiction to the next level with the world's strongest coffee. It's cheaper and slightly safer than purchasing illegal drugs, but will still give you a great kick! This coffee will make you feel significantly more productive than regular coffee right before waste away your day procrastinating as usual. Continue reading

$18.97

via Amazon

temp-thumb
temp-thumb
temp-thumb
temp-thumb
temp-thumb
temp-thumb
World's Strongest Coffee
Take your unhealthy caffeine addiction to the next level with the world's strongest coffee. It's cheaper and slightly safer than purchasing illegal drugs, but will still give you a great kick! This coffee will make you feel significantly more productive than regular coffee right before waste away your day procrastinating as usual.

$18.97

via Amazon

Check it Out

Prank Gift Box
These prank gift boxes look like the real thing. If you need to give a gift to someone, put it in the prank box and watch their expression as they open their gift thinking you just got them a “Sleep Hood.” For once, you can disappoint your loved ones on purpose and it will be funny.

$7.45

via Amazon

Check it Out

Praying Mantis Eggs
The bond that can develop between a man and his praying mantis is a unique one that can transcend time and space itself. If that doesn't make any sense to you, it's probably because you've never owned a praying mantis (or done lots of drugs). Also, despite their name, praying mantises are pretty cool about not forcing their religious views on you.

$5.00

via Amazon

Check it Out

Funny Hand Sanitizer
The number one problem with hand sanitizers these days are that they are just not funny. Sure, most of them remove 99.99999 percent of germs. But they do they make you laugh? For me this is a deal breaker. These funny hand sanitizers are great for making people think you are funny.

$6.68

via Amazon

Check it Out

Color Flame Changing Candles
These color changing birthday candles are great for adding fun and merriment to any birthday party! They will lighten the mood and make you forget that you are slowly inching closer to death and the darkness of an eternal abyss.

$5.18

via Amazon

Check it Out

Potty Putty Toilet Golf Game
Sometimes we get bored in the bathroom and we need something to do. Some people play games on their cellphone or take selfies for Instagram but those have gotten stale for me. The toilet golf game lets me work on my golf stroke so I can better network with upper management.

$6.38

via Amazon

Check it Out

Advertisement
Want to show your grandmother this site but don't want her to be offended by the name? No worries, this site can also be accessed through stuffyoucanafford.com.
Bloody Bath Mat
I used to hate having to explain to guests why there was blood on my bath mat. This often led to awkward conversation and sometimes extremely violent confrontations. This bathmat makes it simply look like there is blood on it. Now can just play if off as the blood being a part of your wacky décor!

$15.95

via Amazon

Check it Out

Giant Bubble Wand
It is not a secret, everyone loves bubbles. Bubbles are a great nonviolent way to break up fights and arguments. No one can be angry or belligerent around bubbles without feeling silly. If it wasn’t for the powerful military industrial complex in the U.S., we would be equipping our military with bubble guns.

$16.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Hidden Bible Flask
Is your Bible study group getting a little boring? Now you can take a swig of your favorite alcoholic beverage every time you need a little pick-me-up. You can keep this little secret between you and God. You’ll be able to regale everyone with funny Bible stories all night long!

$20.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Popup Sponge Soap
Sometimes improving ourselves requires a little inner reflection. Why don’t I have enough friends? Why isn’t the opposite sex attracted to me? Well, it could be because your sponges are dull and boring (or if you talk to my therapist, a terrible personality). Pop up sponge soap will add extra flavor to your personality.

$14.95

via Amazon

Check it Out

Alcohol Shot Gun
Do you have an unhealthy obsession with guns and alcohol? If you're anything like my grandma, the answer is yes. Just pour some into the alcohol gun and cock the trigger and shoot. Exercise your first amendment right to blast alcohol into your face. It's what the founding fathers would have wanted.

$18.90

via Amazon

Check it Out

Mustache Pacifer
Wait… a baby with a mustache? What the heck? These are probably the things you are thinking. But the answer is no, you’re not in Armenia. This is actually a pacifier that simply makes your baby look Armenian. This is perfect for hipster moms or anyone else who finds mustaches funnier than they actually are.

$9.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Prism Glasses
Watching TV can be enjoyable but sometimes moving your head is such a hassle. I know what you’re thinking, “just install a flat screen on the ceiling”. But if your room lacks a ceiling you know this isn’t possible. Bed prism spectacles are a great alternative. You can do both to a downward 90 degree angle not having to move your head at all.

$13.49

via Amazon

Check it Out

Wild Animal Beef Jerky Pack
We all love beef jerky. But for us refined, and sophisticated individuals, sometimes we require a little bit more than average beef jerky. This wild animal jerky pack will allow you to indulge in the jerky of the finest exotic animals such as alligator, ostrich, kangaroo, etc. These are just some samples of what you might get in your 10 random pieces of jerky.

$15.95

via Amazon

Check it Out

Advertisement
Have an idea for a product you think we should add to the website? Feel free to message us on our facebook fan page. We do not accept paid sponsorship of products but we will add products we think fit the theme of the website.
Taste Altering Miracle Berry Tabs
What is special about these tabs is that they temporarily modify taste perceptions so that typically sour food will taste sweet. Taking these tabs will make lemons to taste like lemonade and beer like chocolate thanks to the temporary altered state of the taste receptors on your tongue. Now there is more than one way to have fun dropping tabs with your friends.

$14.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Disappearing Penny Magic Trick
Show a dime and penny to your spectators. The dime then magically disappears right before their eyes! Very easy to learn. This is much easier than my old dime trick where I would swallow a dime and then deny it. This is great if you are desperate for attention.

$16.98

via Amazon

Check it Out

Venus Fly Trap Plant
Nature provides this remarkable plant with "traps" to lure and capture its food. The traps are covered inside by tiny hairs and a sticky sweet smelling substance attractive to insects. When an insect touches the trigger hair, the trap is activated and closes around its victim. After digestion of its meal (which takes several days), the trap will open again for a new catch.

$9.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Melting Gallium Metal
Ever fantasize about what it would feel like to have metal melt in your hands? You can now recreate that experience with gallium melting metal. Or you could take it to a third world country and convince them that you have super powers.

$11.20

via Amazon

Check it Out

Inflatable Unicorn Horn for Cats
Are you the type of person that is constantly wondering how you can make your cat's life a living nightmare? Did you wake up this morning and ask yourself “Gee how can I possibly humiliate Ms. Fluffypuss even more than I have? He’s already wearing an ugly sweater but that’s not enough” Well this inflatable unicorn horn will do the trick. But don’t be surprised if he tries to murder you.

$6.04

via Amazon

Check it Out

Selfie Remote
Ever since I've started using the selfie remote the likes on my selfies have increased 17%. This has led me to more friendships and a better overall quality of life. My self-esteem and self-worth are now through the roof. I attribute my new found happiness to the selfie-remote (and anti-depressants).

$13.50

via Amazon

Check it Out

Cupcake Flavored Toothpaste
Do you enjoy cupcakes to the extent that you wish you could brush your teeth with them? If you do, you probably have some health issues. But with this cupcake flavored toothpaste, bad teeth won't be one of them.

$5.40

via Amazon

Check it Out

Creepy Coin Bank
Coin banks can be a great way to teach kids the value of saving money. This coin bank will do just that and traumatize them at the same time. The creepy stare will ensure any kid using this bank will need therapy for years to come

$17.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Advertisement
We try to make sure all products on ShitYouCanAfford.com are below $20 or less. Sometimes Amazon’s prices fluctuate which can mean the price may not always be accurate. We apologize for the inconvenience. We’ve hired the best child labor force that less than minimum wage can buy in order to monitor and correct price discrepancies.
Amazon Deals of the Day
Everyday Amazon lists limited time deals usually only lasting a few hours. These are not ordinary deals though, these are the type of deals you take home to your parents and eventually start a family with. Limit 1 per person.
Talking Toilet Paper Spindle
For the ultimate in toilet luxury, this spindle allows you to record a personal message to greet those who use your bathroom. You can re-record messages whenever you feel like. This product screams class. You can literally program it do so. Also, good if you want to scare the crap out of someone.

$14.95

via Amazon

Check it Out

Stink Bombs
We've all encountered times where we're stuck in a conversation with someone we don't want to talk to. They start talking to us and the conversation just seems to go on and on and you just don't know how to end it. Stink bombs provide a great way to get out of the situation without being rude. Perfect for everyday use.

$9.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Green Tea Flavored Kit Kat
In Japan, the formal process of courtship involves breaking a Kit Kat bar and giving a piece to a girl, boy, or cardboard cutout of an anime character. This ritual dates back hundreds of years in Japanese history. The "Give me a break" Kit Kat jingle is based off of a translation of a Japanese folk song about two star crossed lovers who end up murdering their families to be together.

$4.33

via Amazon

Check it Out

Water Proof Notepad
Finally, an easy way to write notes while taking a shower. Anyone who has tried writing a ransom note while showering will tell you how frustrating it can be. The paper gets all soggy and the ink doesn’t stay on and it just makes you look like an amateur. It’s a real hassle. The waterproof notepad fixes this inconvenience.

$7.63

via Amazon

Check it Out

Remote Control Tarantula
Do you have a friend who is scared of spiders? Why not scare the bajesus out of them with this realistic-looking remote control tarantula. This creepy critter has light-up eyes and a furry texture. Tarantula scurries across any flat, smooth surface with spider-like leg movement. Use the two-button remote control to rotate its movement.

$11.90

via Amazon

Check it Out

Advertisement
Have an idea for a product you think we should add to the website? Feel free to message us on our facebook fan page. We do not accept paid sponsorship of products but we will add products we think fit the theme of the website.
Rainbow Flame Crystals
Just a few shakes and these crystals will produce spectacular blue-green flames in any wood fire, indoors or out. Ideal for fireplaces, campfires and fire pits; one application lasts up to 30 minutes. Starting a fire has never been so fun! The perfect gift for the pyromaniac in your life.

$7.00

via Amazon

Check it Out

Russian Roulette Water Balloon
The rules are simple. Pass the Party Roulette Revolver (with a balloon in place) to a friend. Your friend cocks the hammer and then pulls the trigger (hoping to take a shot without popping the balloon). If the balloon doesn’t pop, the Party Roulette Revolver gets passed to the next person. The anticipation of the BIG BANG – if the balloon pops – it's amazing!

$15.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Glow in the dark spit balls
Glow-in-the-dark spit balls that grow 200x their sizes in water. Fun to throw, they will explode upon hitting the target. Makes for a great non violent way to release your hidden aggression on other people.

$4.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Money Toilet Paper
Here's a problem, you wanna be a billionaire but you're not. Guess what? For a small fee you can have that feeling with the money toilet paper. You won't need a Rolex watch or a fancy car because everyone who visits your bathroom will instantly assume you're incredibly wealthy based on your money toilet paper.

$8.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Guitar Ice Cube Mold
The guitar-inspired ice cube maker offers loads of fun and laughs. Made from pure food-grade silicone, the ice maker features stir sticks resembling the arm of a guitar. Once frozen, the stir sticks complete the look and give users a way to stir beverages and cocktails. Jazz up your next party with a set of these ice cubes and be sure to pick up a set as a gift for your next gift-giving occasion.

$7.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

The Yodeling Pickle
What do you get as gift for the person who has it all? A yodeling pickle obviously. The yodeling pickle is an exceptional item that radiates class and wealth. It tells people that you have such a great deal of disposable income that you can actually afford to frivolously spend money on this amazing item!

$11.88

via Amazon

Check it Out

Liquid Ass Spray
Liquid ASS is an overwhelming, stinky, funny prank product. Once unleashed, this power-packed, super-concentrated liquid begins to evaporate filling the air with a genuine, foul butt-crack smell with hints of dead animal and fresh poo. Great for pranks. Watching the facial grimaces of people and hearing their comments about the gagging stench will have you laughing until it hurts.

$8.41

via Amazon

Check it Out

Ninja Knives Set
You're in a back alley and a mugger approaches you. You have several options. You can either give in to his demands, you can break down into tears and soil yourself. OR, if you have the ninja knives set you can make him regret every single decision he's ever made until this point and defend yourself with honor like a true ninja.

$7.40

via Amazon

Check it Out

Growing Baby Redwood Tree
These baby redwood trees are 7 - 8 inches from the roots and can grow up to 2 feet in a year. Redwoods are one of the tallest species of trees in the world with some growing up to 200 feet tall. They use sunlight very efficiently and can grow in the shade. But you probably knew all this already.

$6.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Black Light Neon Makeup
Do you like going to raves but hate getting one-upped by people wearing more attention grabbing clothing than you? This black light neon makeup will make sure that won't happen anymore. You'll look like dancing an alien tribesman in this make up and everyone will be sure to notice. The makeup kit comes with a black light necklace that you can use to activate the make up at any time.

$9.00

via Amazon

Check it Out

Black Water
Black water water will change the way you drink water and make sure to leave you satisfied when regular water just won't do! Naturally black in color, Blk Beverages Spring Water's formula binds to the molecules of Blk Beverages pure Canadian Spring Water turning it naturally black, with no artificial dyes, coloring, or additives. Once you go black you'll never go back.

$6.81

via Amazon

Check it Out

Micro Sonic Grenade
Use the micro sonic grenade to prank your friends. Set the timer to 5, 30, or 60 seconds then hide or throw the grenade near your target. Stand back and watch as your victim is startled by the loud micro sonic grenade and then becomes annoyed trying to find the source of the noise. Truly hilarious! Siren is 110-115 decibels, about the loudness of a sandblaster or power saw.

$8.39

via Amazon

Check it Out

Horse Head Mask
These days horse masks are all the rage. A horse mask makes a statement about you. It says you have style, chic, class, and probably an arrest record for indecent exposure. Wear your horse mask to the mall, the beach, a first date, a job interview. There is literally no inappropriate occasion to wear a horse mask.

$21.84

via Amazon

Check it Out

Barbasol Can Safe
Perfect to hide your definitely legal and non-drug related possessions. Great way to hide stuff in plain sight unless what you're trying to hide is barbasol. Very realistic looking, without picking them up and shaking them, there is no way to tell it's not the real thing. Made from genuine product containers.

$13.95

via Amazon

Check it Out

1500 Lady Bugs
Many people know that ladybugs are good for gardens since they eat many disgusting pests. Just release them around sundown and you will have a swarm of lady bugs defending your garden. What many people don't know about ladybugs however is that they are also the official currency of Peru.

$6.99

via Amazon

Check it Out

Nose Soap Shower Gel Dispenser
Add some flair to your shower with the runny nose gel dispenser. Just squeeze the nose, and gel will ooze out from the right nostril. Refilling can be easily done by unscrewing the cap at the back. It is easy to attach on tiles with three suction cups at the back. This shower dispenser will be sure to provide hours of entertainment.

$6.93

via Amazon

Check it Out

Advertisement
We try to make sure all products on ShitYouCanAfford.com are below $20 or less. Sometimes Amazon's prices fluctuate which can mean the price may not always be accurate. We apologize for the inconvenience. We've hired the best child labor force that less than minimum wage can buy in order to monitor and correct price discrepancies.